There is Always Next Week … The NARP Report

By LILIA SMITHSON SAXENA, Contributing Writer

Calling all fellow Non-Athletic Regular People (NARP)!

Today, I come to you with a fully elementary breakdown of college football — naturally, the September 7th disastrous game featuring the Kentucky Wildcats against the South Carolina Gamecocks.

Stating the obvious — the only team with ANY game was the Gamecocks shown by a 31-6 final score. Every play the Cats attempted was a horrifying “wild” card.

Shockingly, it’s Monday, and much to our surprise, both the offensive and defensive coordinators are still employed.

Let’s start with the defense (or, better yet, lack thereof). This time last week, we were hearing about how the name of the game was holding USC to 13 points; in hindsight, we should’ve probably made a statement doubling that and then adding some.

The Gamecocks scored 14 points within a minute and blew the game wide open. Difficult to win a game if you don’t get into the end zone or stop the other team from getting there but who am I to judge!

Next, rumor has it that our offense is still on its way to Kroger Field and will be there in time for this week’s game (or so we all hope). We worked with a sad 183 yards of offense — an even worse passing game of just 44 yards. Ouch. Two turnovers and an array of penalties didn’t help our case either.

All and all it was a tough SEC start for our boys in blue, but let’s send them lots of love before this game on Saturday against Georgia. Gotta make sure the Bulldogs have a “Ruff” Saturday  … We know we are all Cat people at heart!