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My Mother was Special in so Many Ways and it Just Won’t be the Same for Me Without Her

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My mother with three of her great grandsons and my son.

It has been almost a week since my mom, Mary Vaught, passed away just two weeks before her 92nd birthday. I knew she had faced a lot of difficulties and persevered the last two years or so but I truly had no idea just how much pain she had to have been in until just a few days before her passing.

Today is her funeral service and I guess my family’s official farewell to her which is going to be very, very difficult as many of you know. My father has been gone 28 years because he did not survive the heart transplant he was willing to do in hopes it would prolong his life.

My mother hand wrote a page note in a spiral notebook every night to my father since his passing. She would tell him about her day, work in a Bible verse and tell him how much she missed him. And she did that EVERY DAY.

My mother touched many lives in many different ways and I doubt she realized that because she was too humble. She loved teaching Sunday school and Bible school. She loved her church more than I can probably ever comprehend. Seldom did she miss a day of reading her Bible in the afternoon for an extended time. My grandchildren all adored her and until recently she took great pride in trying to send them — and her other great grandchildren — a hand-written letter every few weeks.

In recent years my routine with my mother was to take her dinner — and my wife never once complained about always cooking enough that we could send home-cooked food to my mother nightly — and then watch Wheel of Fortune and maybe Jeopardy. I also tried to take her treats from Burke’s Bakery at least twice per week and lunch a few days per week.

Give her an option and she always chose to have food brought from Lee’s Famous Recipe or Melton’s Deli before she became home-bound for physical reasons. For years mom and I went to the lunch buffet at Lee’s before COVID stopped that and the fruit, country ham sandwich and soups from Melton’s were her favorites.

Nathan Schepman and his staff delivered food Friday and I cannot tell you how much that meant and how I ate that four straight meals. And then Sunday  night with my children, their spouses and my grandchildren here, we had dinner from Lee’s because it seemed only fitting that our last meal together before Mom’s funeral today would be from Lee’s.

Believe it or not, Mom was not a huge sports fan. She did try to keep up with Danville High School sports because she was a Danville graduate and all her children attended Danville schools. She agonized in recent years when Danville football hit some hard times and constantly fussed at me that TV stations no longer had all the high school scores like they once did. After my father’s passing, she did try to go watch my son’s high school home football games because my father passed before even he got to middle school. She also became a pro golf fan later in life even though she never swung a golf club. Tom Watson easily was her favorite player and I never quite understood why she loved golf like she did but we had a lot of golf conversations I will miss.

So many people have reached out in various ways since her passing that I could never respond to all of you but every message was read, shared and appreciated. Words cannot describe what your words meant.

Here were three that I decided to share that summed up what so many of you said.

Mark Dexter: “Very sorry for your loss. I well remember your mom at First Baptist Church. She and your dad did so much good working with young people. Indeed a gracious lady!

Shirley Dievert Lewis: “Larry, so sorry for your loss. Many fond memories of your Mom when we were at First Baptist.”

Debbie Wagner: “Just thinking about your dad and what a sweet reunion for them in heaven.”

I am thankful my children got to have their grandmother for this long and that my grandchildren, who never knew my dad, got to spend the time they did with her.

We are all going to miss her so much. I wish I had the same kindness and goodness my parents had. I wish my faith was as strong as their faith was and never wavered.

She led a good life, never asking for or expecting much. I probably never really told her how much I appreciated the life lessons she taught me or all she did for me and will always regret that and wish I had done more for her.

I’m thankful for the last real afternoon I got to spend talking with her at Harrodsburg Health & Rehabilitation Center — and eternally grateful for the kindness and care those folks provided — and hope maybe she did hear my final words to her at Ephraim McDowell Regional Medical Center just before her passing.

All I know is that I am going to miss her.

Mary Vaught W/ Family

40 Responses

  1. So sorry, Larry. Somehow I had missed that news about your mother passing.
    Lost my mother at 93 years just less than a year ago, So I understand your pain.
    Blessings and peace to you and your family.

  2. I’m sorry for your loss, Larry. One thing is certain, I don’t think we are ever ready to say goodbye, even though every one of knows it is going to happen. If you are like me, you can at least take comfort in knowing what’s ahead of her.

  3. A beautiful, truthful, and heartfelt tribute to your dear mother! She was everything beyond your description along with her dedicated work at the Kentucky School for the Deaf that will always be fondly missed and remembered. I will always treasure and cherish her long time friendship especially the visit I had with her at her home. May your sweet memories of and about her help sustain you in the life ahead. Love, caring thoughts, deep condolences, and prayers are with you and your family.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words Carolyn and for attending the service today and hugging me

  4. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. It’s always been apparent from your writing that you have strong family ties. You and your children and grandchildren were blessed to have her in your lives.

  5. So sorry for the loss of your Mother, Larry. Having been through that with Dad, Mother, and both in-laws, I understand the pain. I wish you and your entire family the best in the days ahead.

  6. I am so very sorry for your loss, Larry. What a beautiful tribute you have written to/for your Mom. And I am positive that she heard you loud and clear.

  7. Larry…We only get one Mother, and you were blessed to have a great one for many years !
    So sorry for your loss.

  8. What a sweet tribute!! My Mother has been gone for 19 years and I still miss her everyday. I am sure you Mother knew how much you loved her. From what i know from others, your Mother is definitely in heaven. We strive to see them later. 🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️

    Gayle

  10. Losing one’s mother is so heartbreaking. Your tribute is beautifully written from the heart. Please accept our deepest condolences.

  11. What a wonderful accounting of your mother’s life, Larry. I really can relate to your words " I probably never really told her how much I appreciated the life lessons she taught me or all she did for me and will always regret that and wish I had done more for her," as I feel the same way about what I didn’t tell my Mom. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

  12. I am so very sorry for your loss. Losing a parent, as you know too well, has a profound impact on a person. But know this: your love for and devotion to your Mom is evident to your readers and I’m sure was just as evident to your Mom. Maybe you can start your own spiral notebook in her honor. Prayers and comfort in your grief.

  14. You were blessed with a mother from the unselfish generation who gave so much and expected so little in return. May you find peace in the many wonderful memories of your dear mother. Prayers for you all.

  17. Larry,
    I am so sorry for your loss. When we have those very special people leave our lives it is so incredibly difficult. My mom has been gone for 10 years now, but I still miss her every day. I know you loved her very much and know she is always in your heart.
    Trisch

  18. Larry – touching, powerful words. I am so sorry for your loss, but also happy that you had the gift of so many quality years with your amazing Mother.

  19. Sorry for your loss Larry. You could have plugged in my Moms name in your story – and everything would be almost identical – except for the names of their fav eating establishments ! She’s been gone for 4 years.
    I’m an only child – born on Mothers Day – a momma’s boy to the core !!!

  21. May the Lord Jesus comfort your heart as you treasure your memories of the love & joy you and your mom shared.

  22. Larry,
    It was good to see you except that it was under these circumstances. What a wonderful tribute you have written for your Mom and Dad. I’m sure they were aware of your love and admiration. I join you in this tribute to your folks as they were two of the finest people I have ever known. We grieve but give thanks that we had them.
    Uncle Don

    1. Appreciate you Uncle Don. My mom loved you guys and your family was so kind to come and support us on a down we really needed it

  23. So sorry to hear this Larry. Both of my parents passed away in the last few years and their passing is something you never really get over. I was privileged to work with your dad at The Advocate and to have him cover some of the games and matches I played in high school. He was what my family calls "good people." His sudden passing was devastating to all of us at The Advocate. I am so glad you, your kids and your grandkids got so many more years with your mom. You are truly blessed for having such wonderful parents.

    1. Thank you so much Pioneer. You were always great to my dad and you are right about my mom

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